In Veritas Libertas

For the past several years, I've really been strugging with this whole "spiritual walk" thing we Christians aspire to. I'm discovering that I care less and less about the church (as an organization) and about the legalistic (and decidedly biased) fringe aspects of the Bible. Instead, my mind and heart have been caught up in a desire to know God for who he (though I dislike the idea of putting God inside the box of gender) is. I want to know God as GOD - not who pastors, teachers, and other Christians try to paint him as. I don't want levitical interpretations of divinity. I don't want a faith that glosses over doubt and fear without ever really addressing either. I don't want a life so wrapped up in looking and acting perfect that no room is left for grace. I WANT SOMETHING REAL.

Maybe I'm a little too akin to Thomas for my own good, but I want to see and experience God for myself: not have him spoonfed to me. I think all too often the church, pastors, and even sincere and well-meaning Christians take the Bible WAY out of context and misinterpret what it represents. THey cover up the doubts and inconsistencies in the Bible with a spiritual heal-all: faith. "Well, I might not understand, but I'm trusting that there's a reason for all of this..."

No. There is no reason for the injustice that occurs in the Bible, for the atrocities that are committed in the name of God (who may or may not have ordered said atrocities). I think we give far too much credit to the original writers of the Bible. We assume them to be these saintly, holy, and flawless people who for x amount of time completely surrendered their lives to write down an "accurate" account of God's presence on this earth and the actions of his people. What we forget, though, is that history is written by the winners and that these people were just that: people. They had hopes, fears, strengths, weaknesses, and sins just like the rest of us. Oh, and that prickly little thing called free-will, which opens up a whole 'nother kettle of worms interms of Biblical interpretation...

. If the Bible is flawed, can God still be good? Can you still believe in God/Jesus when there may be inconsistencies/injustices in his work? What about the whole gender issue? Is God really a "he"? What about women's roles in faith and in society? What about homosexuals? What about cursing or offensive language? Alcohol? Is it okay to trust your own conscience over what you've read/been taught by a pastor? All things that I will probably rant about in future blogs. That's all for now. Let the games begin.