Incipit

I feel like something big is looming on the horizon: something life-changing and irrevocable. I've got so many changes coming up in my life, some of which have already been set in motion. I graduate this December with a BA in English. I will be out of school and in the "adult" world hunting for a way to support myself and a place to rest my head at night. This is, God willing, my last summer at home with my family. I love them, but it's become abundantly clear that I need to be on my own. I really just don't fit there anymore.

Then there's the subject of grad schools: where will I go, when will I go, what can I afford, what degree will I choose? The list is endless. For all of my professor's insistence that my poetry is "powerful" and that I will be published and giving readings one day, I'm really not certain that I'm all that good. I like my work, but what I like and readers like can be two different things. I'm supposed to have fifty plus poems for my portfolio; I've only got a dozen or so that are worth anything and time is running out. Not to mention the fact that a seemingly insurmountable wall of writer's block is barring my poetic progress...and has apparently made me anal about alliteration...

Regardless, all of these things boil down to one simple fact: my life is about to change. Change has always both excited and frightened me. I tend to be a security oriented peson so, consequently, I'm not crazy about huge changes in what I'm comfortable with. At the same time, though, I know change is necessary for growth...insert dramatic sigh...
Maybe that's why I created this blog: to catalogue the change. Here, at least, I have the safety of anonymity to protect me as I finally allow myself to be honest about what I feel. No pretty facades. No masques. Just me. And maybe, by just being me, I'll somehow manage to get through this crazy little thing we call life. We'll see.